Mad Sisters explores
a caregiver’s struggle

Susan Grundy’s memoir examines the devastating shifts in a family struck by mental illness

By Irwin Rapoport

October 16, 2024

Mental health issues come in all forms, and in certain situations, can be life-changing. We have all experienced knowing people, who were perfectly fine one day, and suddenly plunged into a challenging state of mental health.

Westmount author Susan Grundy’s Mad Sisters, fittingly launching on October 24 following World Mental Health Day on October 10, addresses a subject close to her heart. The author will be joined in conversation with CBC senior producer Carrie Haber. Through Grundy’s evocative personal stories, Mad Sisters compassionately explores the devastating consequences of her older sister’s diagnosis of schizophrenia at age thirteen.

“Schizophrenia is like a cork popping from a bottle,” I told solicitous adults over the next few weeks, repeating what I had overheard. My hands were folded in my lap and my legs were crossed, just how my sister would have sat. The adults showered me with compliments. They told me I was handling it well. I didn’t feel like I was handling anything. The doctors would fix my sister and send her home. I was more worried about my distraught mother and her muffled crying from the other side of the bedroom door.

– Excerpt from Mad Sisters

Susan Grundy – Image: courtesy of Susan Grundy

Mad Sisters flips back and forth in time over five decades, underlining how the past has infused the present with the history that Grundy has dragged with her. The story explores the devastating shifts in a family struck by mental illness – the tragedy of an adolescent girl with so much promise, discouraged parents who eventually start a new life elsewhere and the jarring comparison between a free-spirited little sister and the burdened caregiver she becomes. Mad Sisters, candidly and with brave honesty, describes the caregiver push-pull whirlpool where Grundy alternates between fury at her sister’s resentful and jealous moods and being flooded with sympathy and guilt – why her and not me?

According to the Mental Health Commission of Canada, mental illness affects 7.5 million Canadians, or one in five. One in four Canadians provides care to a family member or friend with a chronic mental disorder, according to StatsCan.

Grundy, who has recently returned from London, participated in Q&A to talk about her book and what drives her:

WM: What inspires you to write and what subjects interest you?

Grundy: I feel drawn to stories about the opportunity to step away from the weight of emotional pain and victimhood. Mad Sisters is a highly personal account of making that choice. My sister was the perfect child – quiet, obedient, top of her class. I was the naughty one, a free spirit with a big imagination and boundless energy – until my sister experienced a severe psychotic episode at age 13. Overnight, we switched roles; I became the responsible child, my way of controlling the chaos and restoring balance in our family. Pursuing passions or anything creative was no longer an option.

I feel drawn to stories about the opportunity to step away from the weight of emotional pain and victimhood. Mad Sisters is a highly personal account of making that choice.

– Susan Grundy

My sister studied fine arts at university; she was a brilliant painter. I studied – without joy – commerce and made a living for three decades as a business consultant, all the while caring for my sister, my parents and my own family. Unaware that I was drowning in caregiver mode, an opportunity presented itself – a home in Costa Rica. For six winters, I sat at my writing desk overlooking the flowering bougainvillea, far from my caregiving world. Free.

WM: Why did you write Mad Sisters?

Grundy: I swore repeatedly that I would never write about my sister’s illness or how it impacted our family. The idea of revisiting unhappy childhood memories was depressing, let alone the heavy effort it would require translating dark memories to paper – a labour of torture, not love. And besides, who would want to read a depressing story with, worse than a sad ending, no ending at all? My first book, Black Creek, was inspired by a dark side of my family (intergenerational trauma), but the story is fictionalized; it’s easy to write about emotionally heavy themes when they belong to someone else.

The main character in Black Creek was very different than me, even more so as the story developed. I found a publisher and was keen to start a second book. My sister had recently moved into a one-bedroom apartment I’d set up following her forced exit from a group home. Tension was high between us; she resented her dependence on me (her little sister) and I resented the responsibility. We were caught in an endless power struggle. Our meet-up for coffee ended in an explosive argument. I stormed home, furious, ran to my desk and pounded out a childhood scene on my keyboard, one describing how my sister saved me from drowning when I was five – an event she often reminds me of. I was surprised by the great shape of the first draft. I knew I had to keep writing.

‘I hope readers will be inspired by the importance of compassion and how the enduring strength of sisterhood (or brotherhood) can be a forcefield for hope and resilience. Without love, we have nothing. And love means caring.’

– Susan Grundy

WM: What do you hope readers will take away from this book?

Grundy: My original intention with Mad Sisters was to share my lived experiences regarding the devastating impact of loving someone who struggles with a serious mental health disorder and the lessons I’ve learned as a caregiver, particularly the subtle yet huge difference between caring and saving. Mad Sisters also rings the alarm regarding the urgent need for systemic change. The memoir echoes a global movement calling for a paradigm shift in psychiatric care: the chronic 2 disease approach and drug-based medical model are not working very well. We all live on a mental health continuum, yet stigma is still alive and kicking, even in the medical profession. Mad Sisters also steps beyond the issue of mental illness, family dynamics and an imperfect healthcare system to a larger exploration of the human spirit. I hope readers will be inspired by the importance of compassion and how the enduring strength of sisterhood (or brotherhood) can be a forcefield for hope and resilience. Without love, we have nothing. And love means caring.

WM: What are the unique/interesting features of the book?

Grundy: Narrative structure: Mad Sisters flips back and forth in time, underlining how the past has infused the present with the heavy weight that the narrator (the “healthy” sister) has dragged with her. The two timelines eventually merge towards the end of the book. POV: The parent is often the main caregiver unless absent or incapable. Mad Sisters spotlights a less common perspective seen from the sibling caregiver and the resulting complexity of skewed family roles and triggered negative emotions. Humour/uplifting: Despite the heavy subject matter, Mad Sisters illuminates the potential for well-being and hope despite the collateral damage from a mental illness diagnosis. The sister’s journey is woven with tears and laughter, and the narrator eventually emerges from the push-pull caregiver whirlpool with a fresh perspective that renews her compassion and the sister relationship. She is no longer a mad sister. Irony: My sister (who was the perfect child) was assigned to watch over me when we were children; she even saved me from drowning in a pool. I vowed to escape from my family when I was seven years old. They didn’t feel very reliable. I ended up taking care of everyone.

WM: What’s next in terms of your writing?

Grundy: Even though Mad Sisters is woven with humour and hope, it was a heavy story to write. Presently, I’m working on a much lighter story (fiction) about a disillusioned middle-aged woman who receives life-coaching advice from Virginia Woolf. Is the spirit of VW real or is the woman mentally unstable? And regardless of the diagnosis, will VW’s life coaching be useful?

Susan Grundy will be in conversation with CBC’s Carrie Haber
on Thursday, October 24 at 7 pm
at Espace La Petite Librairie Drawn & Quarterly, 176 Bernard O

Feature image: Anthony Tran on Unsplash